I have now written Part 1 and Part 2 of this series based on the book Living the Gospel as a Way of Life by James R. Jones and Gabriel Meyer. Just so you know what you’re in for, there will be six parts total.
So, jumping right in…
The third principle for living the Gospel as a way of life is honor. I love this definition of honor from the Catechism: “Honor is the social witness given to human dignity” (CCC 2479). What do we do if we believe that a person has innate human dignity? We honor him. We honor her.
In the first post on this book, I mentioned that right speech always remembers the dignity of who someone is, before what he or she does. Likewise, honor is a challenge to us in a world where it is easier to honor and value people for what they do, and very often for what they do for us. This leads to what philosopher Byung Chul Han in his book The Burnout Society calls a culture of performance. In short, people burn out because of the great pressure to perform; this pressure comes from the honor that accrues to a person for what he or she does and not for who he or she is.
If there was ever a time when we needed honor in our communities, it is now. Jones and Meyer write, “Honor is the attitude, the behavior that makes relationships work.” Honor has the power to build relationships, and all of us are made for relationships.
The first one to honor is God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We all know the simple prayer “Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen.” This prayer is a doxology, and doxology is praise, worship, honor of that which is truly worthy of honor. Some Christians call themselves “Orthodox” with a capital-O or just “orthodox” with a lower-case-o. To be orthodox is to have the right (“ortho”) “doxa” about God. Doxa can mean opinion, but also reputation or praise. To be orthodox is not just to hold opinions that are correct but to give God the reputation or praise that He deserves. Orthodoxy has to do with worship—what is your opinion of God? I hold God in high opinion, in the highest opinion, and therefore I am orthodox.
Jesus Christ did the scandalous thing of asking people to honor the Son (Jesus) as they honored the Father. “He who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him” (John 5:23). To cut to the chase: Jesus claims to be God. If Jesus is not God, then orthodox Christians are not doing something good by honoring him as God. This distinguishes orthodox Christians from those who hold only that Jesus is a good moral teacher or a wise man of the past.
But if Jesus is God, specifically God-become-flesh, then the scope of honor begins to spread out from Jesus to all those who belong to him, all those who share in human nature, and eventually to all creation. Now, the honor we owe to Jesus as God and the honor we give to our fellow creatures is analogous, which means it is similar in some ways and different in some ways. Or we could say that the honor we give to creatures is a reflected honor, reflected from the face of Christ who united himself to creation in the Incarnation.
The different aspects of living the Gospel as a way of life are obviously connected, and we can see that right speech is one of the greatest ways for us to honor each other. Showing gratitude is another way that honor shows up in our life. A culture of honor is a beautiful sign of the presence of God in our midst, because we recognize the Giver in the gifts He gives.
So how do we honor?
We can acknowledge the presence of someone by saying his or her name. I have to repent over this one, because there are people I see often whose names I do not remember. I may be forgiven because of the sheer volume of people in my parish circle, but I am reminded that I can show honor by learning and remembering someone’s name. It is a task I can set myself to learn more and more names as a sign of honor and respect.
We can stand up when someone comes into the room. Now, there is a level of familiarity that we can reach where we just acknowledge the person while laying on the couch. It may be overly-formal to stand up every time a person you see everyday walks into your office or your house. But there are times when it is worth the effort to stand and acknowledge someone’s presence.
We can point out the good traits we see in another person or just simply acknowledge the goodness of their being. “You are wonderful!” “What a great smile you have!” “You are always prepared for class!” We have to be careful here that honoring includes acknowledgement not only of what someone does but of what someone is. But we can honor both things, of course.
We can remember. How honored do you feel when someone remembers your birthday? How honored do you feel when someone you haven’t seen in a while remembers that you’ve been on vacation and asks about it? I have to admit that this part of honoring has always been a bit embarrassing for me. I haven’t tested my abilities in a while, but I have always had a good memory. Which means I remember details about a person’s life when that person doesn’t even remember ever meeting me before. It has been very awkward sometimes: “How did your brother’s surgery go?” “What’s your name again?” Ouch! Being remembered really means a lot to me, and I’m sure to many others.
Jones and Meyer finish their chapter with this beautiful quote:
Ideally, the culture of honor helps us all to live with each other more easily, to lay aside the natural defenses we all put up against love and one another, and to relax in each other’s company—permitted, at last, by the esteem we find in each other, to do what we’ve always wanted to do—to give and receive love.
Whom do you esteem? When was the last time you let him or her know it? Let’s start today to build this culture of honor in our communities. Even if it is sometimes bumpy or awkward, it is always worth it to acknowledge publicly the inherent dignity we believe each person has.